Anonymous asked:

Wife application? Dark curly hair, big brown-green eyes, very fair skin with freckles and perpetually rosy cheeks, full lips (introduced to the term DSL at age 14 when a girl at camp told me I had them). 5'5.5", 34D, body shape usually described as hourglass, thicker than I'd like to be but it's mainly muscle. Lifelong (17-18 years, started at age 3) dancer in all styles, 6 years of lacrosse in goal, double majoring at a prestigious Big 10 school, sorority philanthropy chair, political activist.

As we say down South, “Oh lawd…”

I’ve got the ring. You just say the date.

heatherhornaday asked:

I guess I'll apply for the wife position also: I'm funny. Mainly sarcastically funny, but I know a couple (like, 2) jokes I can't sing and my dance moves are equal to those of a dad at a barbecue I buy toms in an 8 1/2 even though I clearly need an 8 (I can't explain why. I just do) I like music. Mainly alternative and indie rock. Not really into the mainstream/ top 40 stuff. (My most favorite song right now is Unbelievers by Vampire Weekend, but it will probably change by the time you see this)

I’m a huge Vampire Weekend fan! They’re my favorite band. And unfortunately my dance moves have also been compared to those of a dad at a barbecue. 

Anonymous asked:

Can I apply for the wife position too? Curly brown hair, green eyes, 5'9, 32C. Abercrombie model. Was a cheerleader for 10 years. Can trace my family back to John Calvin. Born and raised south of Houston, only long enough to get the accent. Moving north of the Mason Dixon as soon as possible. 10/10 would definitely be the best cuddler ever.

Of course you can! Very impressive. And I do love a good accent.

As far as the cuddling goes…I guess I’ll have to judge for myself. 

Anonymous asked:

Also applying for wife. Painter, pianist, vintage GH Bass and Lacoste collector, accomplished cook and baker, fairly knowledgable about most things, daily reader of the Wall Street Journal. 5'5, 32D, low body fat percentage, I've been told I have a great ass for a skinny girl.

Wow. When’s the wedding?